More than a Memory
by meepette179
Summary: garth brooks song...a fanfic about elliot situation after olivia left for comeputed crimes.


3 weeks, 2 days, and 9 hours. That's the last time he saw her before she transferred to computer crimes.

Elliot looked up to see someone walk out of cragens office and into the hallway. Her hair was short again, her brown eyes met hers and she smiled.

He jumped to his feet and ran into the hallway.

"Whoa! Are we outta coffee or something?" John joked.

"Did you just see and Olivia come by here?" he asked franticly looking around.

"Elliot." John sighed, "She's not here."

"Are you sure." He asked slightly calming down, "I know I saw her."

"It's in your mind stabler. You need to get over her. Go home. Get some sleep. I'll cover for ya."

"Thanks John." Elliot muttered walking to the elevators. NO one got that he couldn't just move on, she was always on his mind.

_People say she's only in my head_

_  
It's Gonna take time but I'll forget_

_  
They Say I need to get on with my life_

_  
They don't realize_

Elliot sat in his car across the street from her apartment.

The lights were on and he could see a shadow. She was walking around talking on her cell.

Elliot grabbed his own and dialed her number *69-ing it so she wouldn't know it was him.

"Hello." Her soft voice answered.

He didn't say anything he was so relieved just to hear her voice.

"Hello? Is anyone there? Tony?" she asked again.

Tony? Who was Tony?

"Hello?" I'm hanging up." She waited a few seconds before sighing and hanging up.

Elliot rode home confused. Who the hell was Tony? Was she seeing him?

He got into his apartment and put on a pot of coffee. He drank the whole 28oz. pot eagerly, not wanting to fall asleep.

He grabbed his phone and called John.

"Hmupff?" John's tired voice answered.

"Hey John, its Elliot."

"Go to sleep, You and I need sleep."

"I just had some coffee."

"Making yourself stay awake?"

"Do you know anyone named Tony?"

"Elliot go to bed, you'll be alright in the morning." John hung up.

Elliot couldn't help himself he couldn't forget her.

Is when you're dialing 6 numbers just to hang up the phone

_Driving across town just to see if she's home_

_  
Waking a friend in the dead of the night_

_  
Just to hear him say its gonna be alright_

_  
When you're finding things to do not fall asleep_

_  
Cause Know she will be there in your dreams_

_  
That's when she's more than a memory_

HE knew he wasn't gonna be able to sleep willingly.

He needed to get her out of his mind. Everything of hers he couldn't stand to lose, he boxed, and threw in the coat closet.

Everything else he tossed into the fireplace and watched burn.

He took the few pictures of her he had and put them in his sock drawer.

HE then doubled over onto the couch drifting into a dreamless sleep.

_Took a match to everything she ever wrote_

_  
Watched her words go up in smoke_

_  
Tore all her pictures off the wall_

_  
That ain't helping me at all_

Elliot woke up and picked up a bottle of tequila.

He drank it plain and whole-heartily. He didn't care that it was only 8. HE didn't care that he was late for work. The only thing he cared about was getting through the day.

"Look what you did Liv!" he said loudly to his empty apartment. He immediately regretted his shouts at his delusion. "I'm sorry, its…it's my fault you left. I couldn't protect you."

He gave up trying to prove to himself it was an accident a long time ago.

He grabbed his gun and cell and walked to work. He hadn't showered and he hadn't changed he didn't care. He walked into the squad room and every eye stared at him.

"What?" he yelled drunkenly.

"Elliot." Cragen said angrily. HE liked back to his office, currently being occupied by the DA's of Manhattan, Brooklyn, and Bronx SVU. "Cribs, now!"

The two men stalked up the stairs.

"Breathe on me." Cragen commanded as soon as they got there.

"No." Elliot said grabbing a bunk for support as he started to sober up.

"You're drunk! This is dangerous."

"Says the alcoholic!" Elliot interrupted, "Like you're one to talk you big old hypocrite!"

Cragen hurt, he did have a bottle of alcohol in his desk. He was an alcoholic. "Fine Elliot. Do what you want. Kill yourself for all I care." He stopped at the door. "Liv would hate it if she saw you this way."

Elliot sighed and sat on the bed buying his head in his hands. He fell beside the bed and closed his eyes. "Dear heavenly father, please, please help me. I don't want to be like this anymore. I wanna be healthy again for Liv. I'm sorry for what I said to Cragen. Please help me. Amen."

HE opened his eyes and stood up turning and seeing Olivia standing there.

His cheeks burned red.

She smiled," They care for you el. Don't mess this up."

Then she was gone, another hallucination he'd never forget.

_Cause when you're talking out loud but nobody's there_

_  
You look like hell and you just don't care_

_  
Drinking more than you ever drank_

_  
Sinking down lower than you ever sank_

_  
When you find yourself falling down upon your knees_

_  
Praying to god, begging him "please"_

_  
that's when she's more than a memory  
_

_  
She's more_

_  
She's more_

Cause when you're dialing her number just hang up the phone

_  
Driving across town just to see if she's home_

_  
Waking a friend in the dead of night_

_  
Just to hear him say it's gonna be alright_

_  
When you're finding things to do not to fall asleep_

_  
Cause you know she's waiting in your dreams_

_  
That's when she's more than a memory_

People say she's only in my head

_  
It's Gonna take time but I'll forget_


End file.
